If Not You, Who? Listen To Your Greatest Champions and the Candor They Provide

I started in Little League as a pitcher and a third baseman.

As I moved up to the next level of play, my great mentor and coach, Pat Brady, told me I wasn’t a pitcher. “You’re a catcher,” he said – perhaps because I continued to overthrow first base and bean batters, but maybe because he saw in me something I didn’t see in myself. It’s said that your life-beliefs are formed early on – and those three words “you’re a catcher” spoke candidly and with compassion, in many ways it set the course of my life at the ripe old age of nine.

Growing up as a catcher is like being in a leadership development program.

Catcher is considered the quarterback of a baseball team. It’s the only position that sees the whole field in front of them. You’re in on every pitch, you call the shots, you bring the infield in to the mound to discuss critical plays, and negotiate balls and strikes with the umpire. Growing up as a catcher is like being in a leadership development program.

Coach Brady’s commitment to me as catcher and leader had no greater indication than the physical gesture he made – he gave me his glove. Coach Brady played semi-pro ball back in the days when the catcher’s mitt looked like a lifesaver with a hole in the middle. That glove hurt my hand with every fast ball caught, but I used it from Little League through high school – probably because coming from Coach Brady, I viewed it an honor to wear the mitt – as a sort of leadership designation.

In junior high, I was a fullback on my eighth grade football team. Coach Stevenson said to me, “You’re not a fullback, you’re a quarterback. You’re too cocky to be a fullback!” Again, someone saw in me something perhaps I did not see in myself and provided that insight with candor. I was quarterback the next four years.

Fresh Perspective On Yourself

I often think these early coaches – who both had great impact on my development as a boy and young man – both of whom I respected very much – perhaps saw a thread of leadership in me that I might have sensed, but didn’t clearly see until that point. I enjoyed strong and impactful relationships with these mentors based on clear expectations and candid feedback rather than meaningless noise.

Seeing myself through another person’s eyes changed the trajectory of my life...

Seeing myself through another person’s eyes changed the trajectory of my life which leads me to where I stand today as a Vistage Chair. I’m now in Coach Brady and Coach Stevenson’s shoes. As an executive coach, I have the privilege to boost my members’ self-awareness and strengths as leaders – providing critical feedback through candor backed by compassion.

For example, one of my Vistage members was COO for years before becoming a CEO. At times, they seemed to default to the tactical thinking of a COO over the strategic thinking of a CEO. During one of the more intense discussions we had on issues they were facing, I asked: “Are you the CEO or are you the COO?” “I’m the CEO,” they replied. The discussion continued and I asked again: “Now, are you the CEO or are you the COO?”

“I’m the CEO”……and after that valuable six second pause I asked again – “ARE you the COO OR the CEO? It finally dawned on them they were acting like the COO, not the CEO.

They told me after the meeting that no one had ever talked to them like that before. Like no one (before Coach Brady) telling me I was a catcher not a pitcher. Like no one (before Coach Stevenson) telling me I was a quarterback not a fullback. I was simply driving home the point they needed to hear and believe for themselves – they were CEO not COO. Message delivered – with candor – with compassion.

There is a lot of truth behind the realities of stress as a CEO – sometimes manifested in that internal questioning – that fear of being found out. Mentorship or guidance outside the office offers a candid view from the peripheral – and may well provide the perspective you need to get back on track.

As a Vistage Chair, candor backed with compassion is a non-negotiable value of our groups. You learn a lot about yourself from the people around you and the candid feedback received from Vistage peers not only helps you build your business – but also a better version of yourself.

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About the Author: I’m an Executive Coach, Vistage Chair, and founder of DEMEE Consulting who brings 20+ years of hands-on C-level experience to inspire growth in others and raise the bar in all aspects of leadership. Contact me: Dave.Meehan@VistageChair.com.